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Ibland är man hemsk mot sig själv och jämför sig ständigt med andra, oavsett hur många gånger man får höra hur bra eller älskvärd man är.

Man söker ständigt ”bevis” på att man är dålig, att man inte förtjänar att bli älskad, eller att man inte lever upp till sin fulla potential.

Det är en stor press att växa upp i dagens samhälle. Man får ofta för sig att det är något fel med en, är man till exempel fortfarande singel vid en viss ålder, om man inte tjänar ”tillräckligt mycket” pengar, inte har en ”tillräckligt stor” umgängeskrets, inte ser ut eller agerar på ett visst sätt i andras närvaro... Listan kan bli lång.

Mitt i all denna press verkar folk glömma bort alla underbara och unika saker om sig själva.

Jag fastnar ibland i mitt huvud och låter min inre kritiker riva sönder min självkänsla fullständigt tills jag hatar mig själv för mycket för att göra något annat.

Häromdagen, när jag satt och tryckte ner mig själv på grund av något jag inte ens kommer ihåg, så läste jag ett meddelande från en av mina följare på min Facebook sida. I meddelandet berättar personen för mig att ett av mina inlägg i princip räddat hans liv.

Jag får liknande meddelanden lite då och då, och de får mig alltid att öppna ögonen… Inse att jag faktiskt betyder något, att jag kan göra skillnad… Oavsett vad jag tänker och tror om mig själv.

〈 I am trying to get a better self-esteem and confidence, here are some things I'm trying to remember when I look down at myself:

1. The people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too.

We all compare ourselves with other people, and I can assure you that the people who seem to have it all do not.

When you look at other people through a lens of compassion and understanding rather than judgment and jealousy, you are better able to see them for what they are - human beings. They are BEAUTIFULLY imperfect human beings going through the same universal challenges that we all go through.  

2. Your mind can be a very convincing liar.

I saw a quote once that said, “Don’t believe everything you think.” That quote completely altered the way I react when a cruel or discouraging thought goes through my mind. Thoughts are just thoughts, and it’s unhealthy and exhausting to give so much power to the negative ones.    

3. There is more right than wrong with you.

This powerful reminder is inspired by one of my favorite quotes from Jon Kabat-Zinn: “Until you stop breathing, there’s more right with you than wrong with you.”

As someone who sometimes tends to zoom in on all my perceived flaws, it helps to remember that there are lots of things I like about myself too - like the fact that I’m alive and breathing and able to pave new paths whenever I choose.

4. You need love the most when you feel like you deserve it the least.

I find it difficult to accept love from others when I’m in a state of anger, shame, anxiety, or depression. But adopting the above truth really shifted my perspective and made me realize that love is actually the greatest gift I can receive during such times. 

5. You have to fully accept and make peace with the “now” before you can reach and feel satisfied with the “later”.

One thing I’ve learned about making changes and reaching for the NEXT rung on the ladder is that you cannot fully feel satisfied with where you’re going until you can accept, acknowledge, and appreciate where you are.

Embrace and make peace with where you are, and your journey toward something new will feel much more peaceful, rewarding, and satisfying.

6. Focus on progress rather than perfection and on how far you’ve come rather than on how far you have left to go.

One of the biggest causes of self-loathing is the hell-bent need to “get it right.” We strive for perfection and success, and when we fall short, we feel less than and worthless. What we don’t seem to realize is that striving for success and being willing to put ourselves out there is an accomplishment within itself, regardless of how many times we fail.

Instead of berating yourself for messing up and stumbling backward, give yourself a pat on the back for trying, making progress, and coming as far as you have.    

7. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.

Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable.

I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself -regardless of who you are and where you stand and even if you know you want to change.

You are enough just as you are. And loving yourself will be a little bit easier every time you remind yourself of that. 〉