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I feel again and again the pain of the child who wasn't sure to be loved.
Of the child who always adapted herself to be loved,
to be heard, to be safe, to be seen.
Much of the pain is still there today ..

It has given the child a ability to see what others doesn't
a vision that perceives just what is needed in different situations.
The ability to parry and to see has become well developed.

The ability sometimes makes the child feels so lost, misunderstood and torn sitting in a corner by itself;
quiet kicking in the dust with a sad-angry foot.

The child just continues to give, with a stuck sadness in her chest.

I'm that child who felt unloved, unwanted and missunderstood.

 

Your heart might be full of love but you fail to show it in the right way.

It strikes me again and again that all these wounds that create suffering in humans,
is rooted in misunderstanding.

The pain of life becomes wounds when we take it personally.
It wont show up like grief that later goes on, it's stuck in our self-image.

Wounds become damage when they get stuck in shame;
when we believe it's our own fault that we are treated or processed in a particular way.
What we experienced can get us to turn us against ourselves,
unconsciously look at ourselves with a certain look and hide what we are ashamed of.
The back of the coin is to get caught up in accusations and keep anyone else responsible for what hurts so much to us. Both ways hurts so much and leads to continued pain.

Our experience might not be that we're ashamed but it help us to hold the pain inside..

It seems that the wounds heal when we take on the shame with understanding and love.
What ones became misunderstood when something did hurt more than we could bear, need to get out into the light. If we continue to alienate that part of ourselves, the pain will only increase. We need to walk our own roads and let others do the same.

I think the deepest wounds comes from misunderstanding;
the belief that the other's inability, judgment and rejection has to do with us.
Unnoticed, we have drawn conclusions about ourselves and our living conditions long before we were even aware of it.

I believe that these misunderstandings can become a shame, and they heal when shame is understood with empathy. The wounds are nobody's fault and doesn't have to be.
They just need to be surrounded by love and understanding. Again and again.
The part of you that draws conclusions about yourself need help and assistance to understand in a different way.

I think it is very powerful and healing to get in touch with the shame and bring it out into the light. Living space becomes so much larger, it's easier to breathe, and life flows in a beautiful way.